unreality

i love this photo. it just seems so right. it defies gravity and reality. i defy gravity ; when i go up, i don`t come down - i keep exploring. my reality is not real. my reality consist of fantasies, dreams, and whimsicalities =) everytime i see the photo i just envision the life i want to live. i want to cross over into another realm, i want to do the un done, explore the unknown. the supernatural this photo conveys means everything to me. floating over the world, viweing every perspective while being able to balance yourself. tight right? not to mention that cardigan is tight as shit. giving me jeremy scott / kesh flow. shit i really wish i knew who designed this cardigan.
b e y o u r d r e a m s

whatever wednesdays

i`m off on wednesdays. i don`t go to Forever. i don`t think about a client. Wednesday is my day to rape life. i was supposed to style my boo shakeeia for the black party but she`s an engineering major so she got held up. i spent my day filling out an incident report, @the mall in greensboro w/ a friend from high school and her baby and wound up at an open mic. i thought about sex ALL DAY. no seriously ALL DAY. how often do you all think about sex? does anybody cherish the "sacred exclusiveness" of sex anymore? i don`t think i do. when i want it i get it... Anyway it felt good to spit that poem at the open mic because i needed to express myself. what do you all do to release? masterbate, cook, read, crochet? i breathe poetry ; it`s the only bitch that never left me. shout out to couture productions. i`m thinking about sex again. expression is the only thing i have that i can call my own. i seriously say whatever is on my mind, sometimes that come backs and kicks me in the ass [ per emotions ] but at least i can say i`m real ass bitch in a fake ass world. speaking of fake ass people...why must people continue to flail around knowing they have secret motives? i`ve witnessed quite a few facades over these past few months and it makes me want to bust some bricks. if you`re pathetic BE PATHETIC, EMBRACE IT, LIVE IT. do not fake the funk to hide your true self. i know who i am, i wonder if your reflection ducks for fear it may reveal your true colors?


m a ri n a t e o n t h a t
see i can smile.

whuck.

love - i don`t believe in you. you are a mirage that taints my schema of reality. please go elsewhere and concentrate on healing the world, you`ve done enough eroding to these parts. love, de la.
g o s c r e w y o u r s e l f

bad girls club - members only

@sexilantavegas and @drtysouthyankee have both nominated me for the reality show " The Bad Girls Club. " Fuck it, I agree. I like to cuss it releases all this shit i got stored up inside me. It makes me feel better to scream MFer this and B***H that. I`ve been through the fire, the storms, and the sunny days, all that does is fuel me even more. Seriously, if I went on that show, I would fight everyday. I get fed up by stupidity. I`m ruthless and I don`t ever plan to stop. People are stupid with skewed ass mentals and they need to be checked. No harm, no foul if you can suck shit up right? In th 11th grade Mr. Bowers was like damn, why are you so angry?! I was like that`s just me I think...Maybe I am naturally angry and irate. I had a conversation with two different people about my happiness and one said she thinks my art [poetry] would suffer if I`m ever totally content, the other said the same and also she thinks that is what makes me uniquely crafted and offset from the rest. I agree. I`m not mad, it`s just me. I could never be mellow it wouldn`t feel right.
w h a t y o u s a y t r i c k

pop culture vulture

Today was surprisingly decent. I worked from 10 to 3, saw my clients,went to the Sprint store, and Borders. Interestingly enough I had to abandon my phone for about two hours because the blackbeezy was running slow as shit. So I decided I was going to kick it real intellect like at Borders. I walked in to the sound of a piano playing “Lollipop” by Daddy Weezy. I was like what the fuck?! because all I could envision at that point was some middle aged white man in a tux tickling the ivory. Well I followed the sounds to the magazine section where I found a little white guy no older than 18 with his keyboard set up. I just smiled. I love music. His track list included

• Lollipop
• Umbrella
• Halo
• Knocks you down
• Best I Ever Had [felt some type of way ; that`s our song]

I just copped a seat and read waxpoetics: the Michael Jackson tribute, Relix: 50 Greatest Concerts Edition and Guitar Legends: The Beatles Edition. I also read the design of a decade edition of TIME. I am like this hyperemotional yet cutthroat hobbit trapped inside a black girls body. I cried reading waxpoetics. Shit, I cried reading the article on John Lennon`s murder. I cried looking at pictures of September 11<sup>th</sup> and photos from Katrina and the tsunami. I just get overwhelmed by art and music. It keeps me alive. I was just sitting there thinking of how content I was reading about the Beatles and Michael Jackson. I pride myself on trying say fuck the box, I think outside of myself. I got carried away today to some fantasy world where I was watching MJ moonwalk for the first time and dropping acid at Woodstock ; shit like that amazes me. I can only imagine how living in history felt. This post could last forever if I wanted it to but i`ll stop here. Even though today was great doesn`t mean that I don`t DETEST NC though.

g e t m e o u t o f h e r e

it`s december first

and she`s not in my life the way i want her to be, and i don`t know if she ever will again. on my bella shit. stolen like lemonade on a hot summer day, waiting for that cool again...
s h a k i n g m y h e a d.

twitter is #mypotnadem but...

I`m in love with twitter. Thoughts made easy. I`ve been on the site since the beginning of January but I didn`t tweet much until around March or April when my friends came around. Right now I`m in the low 12,000`s I have so much stuff on my mind it`s redic. My followers love me and I love them back. My “unofficial followers” ehhh not so much. I love the easy access to others thoughts and the gutter content but let`s pause for the cause. Twitter is going to be the death of human interaction consequently along with texting and other social media. I miss sitting by the house phone waiting on phone calls and rushing home to check the caller ID. I miss returning pages (yes, I had a pager.) People need to see other, people need to touch each other. The movie WALL-E showed us that holding hands is the pinnacle of tangible interaction. I`m so scared for society. I want to hear the sound of a voice, I don`t want carp tunnels. When my 12 year old cousin gets married, I don`t want him to pull out his super phone and text his vows to his bride. It`s already tons of illiterate jokers out there we don`t need to regress and add fuel to that fire. I`ve been in relationships where most of the communication consisted of 50% technology – not cool, nor fun. Everyday pieces of society crumble, this is like the one thing we can control yet it`s unfathomable for some people to even think about being away from their phone for more than 30 minutes. I like being able to disconnect from my blackberry – shit gets rough out here, I need to breathe.
p i s s e s m e o f f