i feel so wierd about platonic interaction and such things these days. i don`t want to be in a relationship but i do want that somebody to spend time with [activities include dates such as the movies, dinner, skating what have you etcetera etcetera.] while talking to an ex we both became confused at the levels of relationship [i`m beginning to hate that word becuase it`s becomg so much more broad and complex as the days go by.] anywho i had an urge to classify the different levels of interaction/relationships/friendship based on my perspective - i mean it is my blog. . . i guess the most complicated aspect of this conundrum is "the title." People are so concerned over whether or not there is a title. " She " just called me her girlfriend one day, and I was like I guess that`s what it is then. However, I know plenty of people that fun away from titles because "they complicate things." No, YOU complicate things. I don`t believe that just because two people decide to be in a relationship things will be complicated. That`s just a cop out for " i only want to claim/have you when i want to claim/have you." i decided to classify but i`m still confused so these are no where near concrete. ranked lowest to highest. i won`t do the relationship - that`s where i`m good.
fuck buddies- these two people interact for the sole purpose of sex. they may be friends or they may be on an on call basis as needed. this situation become complicated once one party colors outside the lines and catches feeling for " the nut. " the person who has caught feelings will receive an excessive amount of being blatantly ignored, however when needed for sex they will always be there. they may experience bouts of low self esteem, yet their pie or bear claw will always be there for snack time. this person may try to blossom a relationship from barren land #itsjustnotgonnawork. the winner in this situation, a.k.a. the one who does not give a fuck, will not care about how the other person feels, they are only there for one purpose and they stick to the plan. it become even more complicated when the person who was once the winner in this situation gives one hint of possibility that there may be more to this fuckfest than just sex . . .
just friends- this may be the most confusing to me because of the rate just friends excellerates to "we`re talking" or decellerates to extinction. herein lies my problem on the ability to execute just being a friend. at this point you two may send friendly text messages "good morning, how was your day, what are you doing`s" and hang out from time to time. one of the people in this scenario has usually approached the situation from the prospective of liking or being interested in the other person, therefore everything friendly that is communicated towards them is interpreted as though the other person is also interested when they really are not, they just like them "as a friend." but my confusion comes from something called the " propinquity effect " [#shoutout to the NCAT Psych Dept.] the propinquity effect is the tendency for people to form friendships or romantic relationships with those whom they encounter often, forming a bond between subject and friend. that basically means the more the more time you spend with somebody, you two will form some higher bond than what it began as. i need someone to expound on this for me [venture to comment section].
we`re talking- OK so [in my head] these two people have supposedly established that they both are interested in each other, to me, there must be boundaries set in order to distinguish this from "just friends" and "in a relationship." those stipulations must be set by both parties. BUT the rules must be within the confines of "we`re just talking" do not incorporate relationship boundaries in this situation. however one golden rule [whether they should be able to chill with other people as well] must be carefully scrutinized.] i believe that should be agreed upon based on what you two want the outcome of this courtship to be. [r/s, remain stagnant, etc.] the complication comes when the rules are A. never made. B. never discussed or C. completely broken/ignored. This situation fluctuates and can last from days to months, the key to this is pateince and maturity.complications: selfishness, incosideration, lack of connectedness, sex, lack of seriousness.
this is getting too complicated, i`m leaving @ this point.
i j u s t w a n t t o b e s u c c e s s f u l
thoughts?
